Monday, May 14, 2007

Guest Review: The State of Kentucky

Please read the Wrecking Machine's thoughts on the wonder, magic, and smokiness that is the Bluegrass State... As always, I welcome any and all "guest reviews". If it's good, I'll post it on the DZ... Out, D

First off, I had the pleasure of hanging out with the D-man and some of his friends this weekend. Good times.

Second, and I never thought I'd say this, but God bless Kentucky. I can smoke indoors! There are no additional per-pack taxes in Kentucky, reaping me the benefits of buying 3 packs of cigarettes (my expensive cloves, too) for the price of 2 in Ohio.

I could also buy cloves at the corner convenience store. Granted, this store was on the corner between Newport on the Levee and Hofbrauhaus, but still.

Also, Newport really has got it going on. The fact that I could walk to all these places was just icing on the cake. It's like the people of Newport said, "Hey, we want your money. What can we do to make you happy?"

It's quite the breath of fresh air from the Communist state Ohio is turning into.

Wrecking Machine


GW said...

It's sweet redemtion for us longtime bluegrass residents. After years of being called hill billy, no-shoe wearin rednecks, it is nice to see the rest of the world is finally realizing what we've all known for years. (and those names were from just Dolf at quarterlies).

It's amazing what can be accomplished when city leaders work for the people and not for their own benefit. Just wait a few more years when casino gambling is legalized, and there is a casino in Covington/Newport. It'll be a ghost town in Cincinnati.

Oh wait, they did move the fountain 50 feet. That's worth checking out.

Dolf said...

If I was still a smoker, I would not only be regularly extolling Kentucky's smoker-friendly virtues, I would probably move there as well!

Are Main Street and Mt Adams (the hot spots when I was a kid) officially dead yet?

Anonymous said...

As liberating as it is to be able to light up when I drink up...Kentucky is still a scary place of backwards hicks and cross-eyed cretins.

Yeah. It's reassuring to know that while sipping my gin 'n' juice and puffing my Camels in nearby Newport I am just a bridge-crossing away from the 21st's still not a big enough draw to keep me there longer than it takes to catch a buzz or a movie.

I've seen too many jeans shorts; too many couples that look eerily alike; too much ill-fitting eye-wear; heard more poor grammar than in a Berlitz class full of non-native English speakers; too many a moustache trying to cover toothless smiles; and, alas, tripped over one too many lone shoes that litter the walkways of the Commonwealth (who keeps walkin' when they know they just lost a shoe?).

No. Cincinnati's where I'd rather stay. I get allergic smelling hay(seeds). I just adore the stadia views. K - Y, you're backwards just keep giving me my cheap smokes.

guh-bard said...

Where is anonymous talking about ? Amelia or Delhi ?

I'm sure Newport is tickled at City Council's plans for The Banks - condos and office buildings. When those people leave their condos or work, they will flood over to Newport to spend their money. Just as I did the other nite when attending a concert at the coliseum - parked at the Levee, wined and dined at the Hofbrahaus, walked across the bridge, attended concert, walked back to Newport for a nightcap.

If backwards hicks and cross-eyed cretins have been able to accomplish so much more, what's that say about those from the Buckeye state?

Dolf said...

I didn't realize this little post would turn in to a war! Where's Mike Basler during all of this?

Also, GW's proud and boastful post would have been slightly more effective had he not misspelled redemption!

C'mon dude!!! Dump that crappy IE 7 and switch to FireFox! It's form field spell checker would have saved you from this debacle!