Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Thou Shall Not Wait 20 Seconds To Make A Left Hand Turn Once The Light Turns Green!

The Vatican just released the "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road" on Tuesday. Since driving-related topics often pop up on The Dolf Zone, I thought I would post the new 10 commandments.
  1. You shall not kill.

  2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

  3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

  4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

  5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

  6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

  7. Support the families of accident victims.

  8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

  9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

  10. Feel responsible toward others.


WW said...

I find it funny that cell phones were not mentioned, considering that is one of the most common causes of accidents... and I'm still blowing off steam from the ass who almost macked me yesterday in the parking lot (while on a cell phone of course)

Wrecking Machine said...

How about:

1) Thou shalt not drive like an idiot.

2) Thou shalt never drive again after your 2nd DUI.

3) Thou shalt be utterly destroyed if you get a 3rd DUI.

4) Thou shalt pay attention to the road.

5) So helpeth me, God, I shalt purposefully cause a head on collision with thou if thou doth not TURN OFF YOUR BRIGHT LIGHTS RIGHT F-ING NOW!!!

Dolf said...

Machine, I now know that at least one other human shares my psychotic rage about people who drive with their brights on!

For some reason, this past winter was awful. It seemed I came upon a bright light driving moron on an almost daily basis. And I too felt the urge to drive right into them! Honking the horn, flashing my brights, and screaming at the offender no longer seemed harsh enough.

I think there might be a larger problem here. Is it me, or are the standard (non bright) lights far brighter than before?? Especially on giant SUVs and trucks? And of course, there are those new xenon lights that are as annoying as hell.

Wrecking Machine said...

The thing with trucks/SUVs is that they are higher off the ground, so the down pointing lights are more likely to be pointing straight down into your windshield.

I really want to kill all those truck/SUV drivers that get right up on your ass (but won't pass, for some reason) and their lights are coming right in the back window. If I weren't driving a small car, increasing my chances of dying, I'd seriously just slam my brakes when people do that.