Friday, January 25, 2008

The Dolf Zone Turns Two!

I just realized that the Dolf Zone turned two on January 20th. To commemorate this momentous occasion, I would like to repost my first landmark article, "Why DVDs Suck!" I hope you enjoy re-reading it, as much as I enjoyed reposting it. Out, D

"Why DVDs Suck"

Dear Movie Studios,

The experience of watching a DVD is becoming increasingly unpleasant... As the dawn of high definition DVD's approaches, maybe you can make some much needed changes for the future.

Most importantly... When I put in a DVD I want it to go directly to the main menu. Then, after I press "play", I want the movie to start playing! That's it!

I do not want to see copyright warnings, especially in 5 different languages! Everyone knows its "illegal" to make copies of DVD's. Although I do remember something called "fair use" that says I am entitled to make backup copies... Maybe that's been repealed. But I digress...

I do not want to see previews! I will gladly accept a menu item called "previews" that I can go to later. I would even gladly accept a menu item called "advertisements". Just don't make me watch your promotional crap as a prerequisite to watching a movie that I have purchased!!! 10 years from now when I am watching a future "classic" release (say Cinderella Man), do I need to have the experience tarnished by seeing previews for Dukes of Hazard II???

Say what you will about the music studios, but at least they don't put ads and "previews" at the beginning of a music CD.

No more more corporate logos! I do not want to see the logo and animation of every company that was involved in the making of the movie! How soon before we see something from the company that provided craft services??? I don't care! The only thing I want to see and hear is the famous 20th Century Fox animation and score right before the movie starts. That's it! I don't even care if the movie wasn't made by them...

Quit disabling the "play" and "menu" buttons! If you insist on keeping all of this crap on my DVD, then at least give me the option of exiting it. Disabling buttons? C'mon! That's a trick from the spyware and adware industry. Is that who you want to be associated with? What's next, pop-up advertisements?!?

Children's DVDs should start playing immediately! By the time Elmo or Rolie Polie Olie finally make it on screen, my once agitated child has now become a screaming, crying inconsolable maniac as I scramble to try to skip through the myriad ads, previews and warnings!

Also, if children's fare had an "auto play" feature, I wouldn't have to keep getting off the couch and changing DVDs everytime my son wants to watch something different! He's mastered getting the discs in and out, but the aforementioned ads, previews, warnings and disabled menu & play buttons kind of throws him off... (Hats off to They Might Be Giants - Here Come The ABC'sfrom Universal which starts playing automatically if no buttons are pressed within 10 seconds.)

In conclusion... 2005 was the first year that DVD retail sales were flat. Considering how bad most feature films were in 2005, I don't predict the situation will get better any time soon. However, if you improved the viewing experience for your customer by eliminating the "crapware", maybe we would be willing to purchase a few more DVDs. Think about it...

Love,
Dolf

No comments: