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Coming in 2024

Activision's Call of Duty Casino: Gambling for Kids!

If over the past few months, you have seen an increasing number of mysterious charges on your credit card statement like $2.13, $5.34, and $10.69, I hate to break it to you, but your Little Johnny is gambling. Before you go ballistic, consider this: he isn’t gambling for money. He is trying to win virtual items such as an MVP Baseball Bat, Marshal 16 Shotgun-Pistol, and Fury’s Song in the latest installment of the Call of Duty series, Black Ops 3.

The “Call of Duty Casino” is officially called The Black Market. It is a section of the game where you exchange COD Points (the currency of the Black Market) for a spin of the wheel in which you can win a variety of virtual items such as camos, taunt gestures, and weapon attachment variants. If you’re extraordinarily lucky you’ll win the most coveted item of all, a weapon! (COD Points can slowly be earned by playing the game as well as by being purchased.) Camos and gestures can be cool but a weapon is what everybody wants. And unless there’s a source I don’t know about, Activision does not tell you what the odds of winning one are. I have asked them multiple times and have not received an answer.

Before we go any further, let's have all the parents chastise themselves for allowing their 11-year-olds to play an M-rated game with a built-in casino. Wait - Scratch that! Don't feel bad, because there are millions of us. And yes, we can disable this kind of in-game spending, but most of us won't. Why? Because we won't be able to figure it out, we're too lazy, or we just don't care as long as junior is safe at home playing his games. However, this is not just an issue for “the children” - it’s about transparency and fairness. Furthermore, many of the people losing big at the Call of Duty Casino are adults. 

Now that that's out of the way, let's continue.

As I write this I have no idea how much my child (and I) have spent on COD Points. I promise to go through my credit card statements and give you the embarrassing total at some point. Do a few Google searches, though, and you will find countless stories of people spending hundreds of dollars and not getting a single weapon. Every spin of the Black Market wheel evokes the magical lure of a Vegas slot machine. And every spin for my son and I has not produced a single weapon. This is ridiculous!

Am I saying that The Black Market should be banned? Absolutely not! It’s awesome!

What I do want (and what the point of this post is all about) is for The Black Market to be subject to external audits and standards just like Vegas slot machines are. More importantly, I want Activision to publish the odds of winning different item categories. Adults and children alike should know these odds before they spend hundreds of dollars on nothing. You can be sure The Black Market will be returning in the next Call of Duty. And even if the odds are magically improved as we near the end of the Black Ops 3 life cycle, you can be sure they will be tinkered with to favor the house when the next title is released in November. 

Kudos to Treyarch. Whoever came up with the Black Market and COD Points deserves one hell of a raise! I've never seen a better way to separate money from wallet in the gaming world in many years. But let's try keeping it honest, Activision! 

David Foster Wallace for Dummies

David Foster Wallace is my favorite author. The fact that I even have a favorite author is amazing considering I didn't start reading full-length books (that weren't school or work assignments) until 2010, which not coincidentally, is the year I bought my first iPad. 

I found Wallace through tennis. I am a fan and player. I believe it was Twitter that led me to his early tennis pieces - "String Theory" and "Tennis, Trigonometry, Tornadoes." I remember thinking that this is not normal sports writing. This DFW guy is from another galaxy, universe, or maybe even dimension! I was immediately hooked. And of course, I thought I shared quite a bit in common with this genius - tennis, tobacco, tv, technology, David Lynch, R.E.M., and a Midwestern upbringing. It was as if he was writing just for me. 

In my enthusiasm to discuss Wallace's work, I quickly discovered that not very many people (outside of academia) knew about him. Even with the 2015 release of the major motion picture "The End of the Tour" (starring A-list actors, no less) most civilians are not familiar with David Foster Wallace.

A few years ago, I asked a group of college-educated friends if they knew who "David Foster Wallace" was and I received the following responses:

• Serial Killer 
• Singer 
• Inventor of the Frisbee 

Nobody at the table knew who he was and I was shocked but happy. It is similar to the irony cycle of liking a band that no one knows about. You want to tell everybody about this new band because they are the next coming of Nirvana. But the more people who know about the band, the more successful they will become. And before you know it, the band becomes rich, famous, no-longer-cool sellouts. 

Despite risking his coolness, I became a DFW evangelist after that memorable serial killer incident. I promote Wallace's work whenever I have a chance, particularly among the tennis and technology types that dominate my social/professional circles.

As part of my evangelism, I have created this blog post. Every person I meet who thinks David Foster Wallace created the Frisbee or kills people prolifically will be pestered by me to read it. Included here are some my favorite DFW essays along with a few great quotes. There is also a lengthy list of DFW facts. This will be an ongoing process so keep checking back. If you end up loving DFW's unique style of writing, then literary nirvana awaits you in the form of his 1,079 page Infinite Jest as well as the books listed below:

Novels
The Broom of the System (1987)
Infinite Jest (1996) 
The Pale King (2011) 

Short Story Collections
Girl with Curious Hair (1989)
Brief Interviews with Hideous Men (1999)
Oblivion: Stories (2004) 

Non-Fiction Collections
A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again (1997)
Consider the Lobster (2005)
Both Flesh and Not (2012) 
String Theory (2016) | On Tennis: Five Essays (e-book version of String Theory)

David Foster Wallace Facts - Tennis, Technology, TV, and Tobacco 

• Born in 1962 and grew up in Urbana, IL. DFW's Midwest upbringing was a major theme in his writing.
• Was a ranked junior tennis player. Tennis is a huge theme throughout Wallace’s work. Tennis factored prominently in Infinite Jest. The famous NYT's piece "Federer as Religious Experience" was written by Wallace in 2006, has become a viral classic, and appears to be as relevant in 2017 as it was over 10 years ago! 
• All 5 of DFW's tennis essays have been compiled into an e-book collection called On Tennis which is available at Amazon. A hardback version of these essays was released in 2016 titled "String Theory: David Foster Wallace on Tennis" and was chosen by Bill Gates as the best book of the year.
• Chewed tobacco and smoked. There are many references to tobacco in DFW's writing. It was but one of many addictions.
• Watched a ton of TV. Again, like tobacco and tennis, DFW's addictions were often the topics of his best work.
• Although he considered himself a technophobe, he did use a computer. He also possessed a crystal-ball like understanding of where technology was headed despite the disadvantage of his early 90's vantage point. There are passages in Infinite Jest (written before PC's and the Internet were pervasive) that predict things like Selfie Beautifiers and Netflix.
• On September 12, 2017 on the 9th anniversary of DFW's death, Apple announces the iPhone X. The phone's hyper-advanced facial mapping technology brings Wallace's vision (described in 1996's Infinite Jest) of being able to realistically and completely alter your true appearance to the masses.  
• His 1996 Harper's essay “Shipping Out” was a pre-Internet viral sensation. People photocopied and faxed it all over the country.
• Graduated from Amherst College in 1985. Received an M.F.A. from the University of Arizona in 1986. He also attended Harvard for a short time.
• Published Infinite Jest in 1996 which brought him big-time fame and recognition. Dealing with that fame and recognition became another DFW theme.
• Wore a bandana because he sweated profusely. He was very self-conscious about sweating. And in true DFW fashion, he was also self-conscious about the bandana being seen as a trademark or part of a cultivated image.
• Was a good singer and a talented impersonator.
• Taught at the college level throughout most of his career - Emerson College, Illinois State University, and Pomona College. Check out DFW's syllabus for his 2008 Creative Nonfiction class at Pomona College.
• In addition to be being a professor, he also held some low level jobs including security guard at Lotus Software and "glorified towel boy" at the Mount Auburn Club. So remember to never judge a person by their job! They just might be the next DFW. 
• Committed suicide on September 12, 2008 after suffering from severe depression for most of his adult life. He tried to change medications and it didn't work. (See Nardil.)
• After his death, DFW went viral again with "This is Water" which is widely regarded as one of the best commencement speeches ever given. (Full 23 minute version)    
• The music video for "Calamity Song" by the Decemberists is an ode to Infinite Jest's Eschaton, a game that brings together thermonuclear war and tennis. The line "In the Year of the Chewable Ambien Tab" is a reference to Subsidized Time in which the naming rights for each year are bought by corporations. As we currently watch the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl played at University of Phoenix Stadium, I think DFW might have another amazing prediction turn true some day.
• The 2015 film The End of the Tour starring Jason Segel and Jesse Eisenberg is based on the 5 day road trip/interview that occurred between David Foster Wallace and author David Lipsky. (Buy on Amazon)  
• Once you've become a hardcore DFW fan, be sure to bookmark The Howling Fantods. Nick Maniatis has created the Infinite Jest of online DFW resources. It is encyclopedic in its depth and is updated regularly.  
• Twitter is a great place to learn about DFW and meet other fans and scholars. I have created a DFW Twitter group to get you jumpstarted - https://twitter.com/dolfer/lists/david-foster-wallace 
• The Great Concavity is a new podcast by Matt Bucher and Dave Laird dedicated to all things DFW. Subscribe to it or visit http://greatconcavity.podbean.com/ to listen.
• The David Foster Wallace Archive opened in 2010 at The Ransom Center, a humanities research library and museum at The University of Texas at Austin. It's the ultimate pilgrimage for the obsessed DFW fan. Hopefully I'll get to visit some day.
• The David Foster Wallace Conference is held annually at Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois and features some of the best DFW scholars in the world. Like the DFW Archive, I also plan on attending this event one day. Check out the 2016 conference schedule. 

---

Favorite DFW Essays Available Online 

Please note that the DFW pieces that you find online are usually the trimmed down versions that originally appeared in a variety of magazines. The titles of the pieces may also be different. If you want the 100% definitive DFW version, you'll need to purchase one of his many compilations - A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, Consider the Lobster, Both Flesh and Not, and String Theory. 

"Federer as Religious Experience" (aka "Both Flesh and Not") 
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/20/sports/playmagazine/20federer.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

A top athlete’s beauty is next to impossible to describe directly. Or to evoke. Federer’s forehand is a great liquid whip, his backhand a one-hander that he can drive flat, load with topspin, or slice — the slice with such snap that the ball turns shapes in the air and skids on the grass to maybe ankle height. His serve has world-class pace and a degree of placement and variety no one else comes close to; the service motion is lithe and uneccentric, distinctive (on TV) only in a certain eel-like all-body snap at the moment of impact. His anticipation and court sense are otherworldly, and his footwork is the best in the game — as a child, he was also a soccer prodigy. All this is true, and yet none of it really explains anything or evokes the experience of watching this man play. Of witnessing, firsthand, the beauty and genius of his game. You more have to come at the aesthetic stuff obliquely, to talk around it, or — as Aquinas did with his own ineffable subject — to try to define it in terms of what it is not.

"Shipping Out" (aka "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again") 
http://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/HarpersMagazine-1996-01-0007859.pdf

The promise is not that you can experience great pleasure but that you will. They'll make certain of it. They'll micromanage every iota of every pleasure-option so that not even the dreadful corrosive action of your adult consciousness and agency and dread can fuck up your fun. Your troublesome capacities for choice, error, regret, dissatisfaction, and despair will be removed from the equation. You will be able-finally, for once-to relax, the ads promise, because you will have no choice. Your pleasure will, for 7 nights and 6.5 days, be wisely and efficiently managed.

"Consider the Lobster"
https://docs.google.com/...

So then here is a question that’s all but unavoidable at the World’s Largest Lobster Cooker, and may arise in kitchens across the US: Is it all right to boil a sentient creature alive just for our gustatory pleasure? A related set of concerns: Is the previous question irksomely PC or sentimental? What does “all right” even mean in this context? Is the whole thing just a matter of personal choice?

"The Planet Trillaphon As It Stands In Relation to The Bad Thing"
https://quomodocumque.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/wallace-amherst_review-the_planet.pdf

I'm not incredibly glib, but I'll tell what I think the Bad Thing is like. To me it's like being completely, totally, utterly sick. I will try to explain what I mean. Imagine feeling really sick to your stomach. Almost everyone has felt really sick to his or her stomach, so everyone knows what it's like: it's less than fun. OK. OK. But that feeling is localized: it's more or less just your stomach. Imagine your whole body being sick like that: your feet. the big muscles in your legs, your collar·bone, your head, your hair, everything, all just as sick as a fluey stomach. Then, If you can imagine that, please imagine it even more spread out and total. Imagine that every cell in your body, every single cell in your body is as sick as that nauseated stomach. Not just your own cells, even, but the e. coli and lactobacilli in you, too, the mitochondria, basal bodies, all sick and boiling and hot like maggots in your neck, your brain, all over, everywhere. in everything. All just sick as hell. Now imagine that every single atom in every single cell in your body is sick like that. sick, intolerably sick. And every proton and neutron in every atom...swollen and throbbing, off·color, sick, with just no chance of throwing up to relieve the feeling. Every electron is sick, here, twirling off balance and all erratic in these funhouse orbitals that are just thick and swirling with mottled yellow and purple poison gases. everything off balance and woozy. Quarks and neutrinos out of their minds and bouncing sick all over the place bouncing like crazy. Just imagine that, a sickness spread utterly through every bit of you, even the bits of the bits. So that your very...very essence is characterized by nothing other than the feature of sickness; you and the sickness are, as they say, "one." 

"The String Theory" (aka "Tennis Player Michael Joyce's Professional Artistry as a Paradigm of Certain Stuff about Choice, Freedom, Discipline, Joy, Grotesquerie, and Human Completeness")
http://www.esquire.com/sports/a5151/the-string-theory-0796/

the players moving with compact nonchalance I've since come to recognize in pros when they're working out: The suggestion is of a very powerful engine in low gear. Jakob Hlasek is six foot two and built like a halfback, his blond hair in a short square Eastern European cut, with icy eyes and cheekbones out to here: He looks like either a Nazi male model or a lifeguard in hell and seems in general just way too scary ever to try to talk to. 

"Host"
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2005/04/host/303812/

It is currently right near the end of the program's second segment on the evening of May 11, 2004, shortly after Nicholas Berg's taped beheading by an al-Qaeda splinter in Iraq. Dressed, as is his custom, for golf, and wearing a white-billed cap w/ corporate logo, Mr. Ziegler is seated by himself in the on-air studio, surrounded by monitors and sheaves of Internet downloads. He is trim, clean-shaven, and handsome in the somewhat bland way that top golfers and local TV newsmen tend to be. His eyes, which off-air are usually flat and unhappy, are alight now with passionate conviction. 

"9/11: The View From the Midwest" (aka "The View from Mrs. Thompson's")
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/9-11-the-view-from-the-midwest-20110819

... And they watch massive, staggering amounts of TV. I'm not just talking about the kids. Something that's obvious but still crucial to keep in mind re: Bloomington and the Horror is that reality – any really felt sense of a larger world – is televisual. New York's skyline, for instance, is as recognizable here as anyplace else, but what it's recognizable from is TV. TV's also more social here than on the East Coast, where in my experience people are almost constantly leaving home to go meet other people face-to-face in public places. There don't tend to be parties or mixers per se here; what you do in Bloomington is all get together at somebody's house and watch something.

"Tennis, Trigonometry, Tornadoes" (aka "Derivative Sport inTornado Alley")
http://harpers.org/wp-content/uploads/HarpersMagazine-1991-12-0000710.pdf

Unless you're just a mutant, a virtuoso of raw force, you'll find that competitive tennis, like money-pool, requires geometric thinking, the ability to calculate not merely your own angles but the angles of response to your angles. Tennis is to artillery and airstrikes what football is to infantry and attrition. Because the expansion of response possibilities is quadratic, you are required to think n shots ahead, where n is a hyperbolic function limited by (roughly) your opponent's talent and the number of shots in the rally so far. I was good at this.

#DolfApproved TV Alert / Mr. Robot Premiere Gets an "A"

To say that I'm excited about Mr. Robot is an understatement. After taking in the first episode, I came away feeling like I did after I saw The Matrix.... totally and unexpectedly blown away.

Mr. Robot feels original but has some obvious influences. There are strands of Fight Club, Black Mirror, and The Matrix in its DNA. People working in technology will especially like this show, although its appeal goes well beyond tech nerds.

There is a neverending stream of clever references to tech, business, movies, sports, and music. Targets include Steve Jobs, Maroon 5, Facebook, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, Blackberry, George W Bush, Lance Armstrong, Bill Cosby, Tom Brady, Josh Groban, child pornography, and Gnome Linux!

The acting is top notch and serves the writing well. Rami Malek has created a quirky, funny, and darkly disturbed character. I can't wait to see where he takes "Elliot" this season. Christian Slater swoops in, stirs up trouble, and pushes Malek's character to become part of "the project." The supporting cast is also strong, with the Maroon 5-loving "Ollie" providing many of the funniest scenes.

Mr. Robot is custom-made for Tivo. Be sure to freeze-frame whenever you see something interesting on screen. Case in point, check out the eHarmony dating profiles of Krista and "Michael" as interpreted by Elliot's mind.

If the rest of the season is as good as the debut, we have a classic in the making.

Mr. Robot's premiere episode "eps1.0_hellofriend" gets a solid "A" and is 100% #DolfApproved.

Dolf's Theory of Entertainment Relativity in action...

You can watch Mr Robot right now on USA: http://www.usanetwork.com/mrrobot/videos/eps10hellofriendmov

Dolf's Theory of Entertainment Relativity

Einstein described Reality with mathematics. Now I've done the same for Entertainment.

Television is in a Golden Age, and it keeps getting better. Music is mostly terrible and continues to get worse. Movies are hit and miss, not great, not horrible, just mired in mediocrity.

Dunlop Grand Prix / The Worst Tennis Ball Ever Made!

[Updated July 20, 2017] This post documents my FIVE year relationship with a tennis ball. 

“a tennis ball is the ultimate body. Perfectly round. Even distribution of mass. But empty inside, utterly, a vacuum. Susceptible to whim, spin, to force—used well or poorly. It will reflect your own character. Characterless itself. Pure potential.” -- David Foster Wallace

Part 1. October 6, 2012. "Storm Warning" 

The Greater Cincinnati Indoor Tennis Association ("G.C.I.T.A.") recently adopted the Dunlop Grand Prix as the official ball of the 2012/13 Interclub season.

David Foster Wallace’s magnificent description (from "Infinite Jest") of a tennis ball as an innocent, insignificant entity of “pure potential” does not apply to the Dunlop Grand Prix. The Dunlop Grand Prix is hard, heavy, dense, and quick-to-fuzz-up. These unfortunate characteristics make for a very unenjoyable game of tennis no matter what level you play. I have been playing tennis for a long time and the Grand Prix is the worst ball I have ever put a racket to. Neither my character nor my potential is fairly reflected with this ball.

A 5.0 former college player on my Interclub team commented on how many times his forehand hit the tape due to the "heaviness" of the ball. I find the Grand Prix particularly unpleasant when serving. A powerful service swing is met time and again with shoulder-jarring impact, almost as if you were striking a baseball or a large rock.

Besides negatively impacting play, I believe these balls can lead to injury for some types of players. The weight, density, and "fuzziness" are a recipe for shoulder, arm, and elbow pain.

I suffered a severe shoulder injury earlier this year and worked for several months to get back to the Show. By the end of the summer, I was just about back to normal. Around this time, the Grand Prix's made their debut at my Tuesday night doubles group. Everyone immediately noticed how heavy the balls felt. By the end of the first set, many players were complaining about the fuzziness and hardness of the balls. The next day my shoulder felt like someone had put a blowtorch to it.

If you dislike these balls as much as I do, please send an email to the G.C.I.T.A. at gcita@inbox.com and request a change. While you are at it, stop by @DunlopSport on Twitter and let them know what you think about these balls.

In my opinion, Wilson U.S. Open (@WilsonTennis) and Penn Championship balls are superb. Perfect weight, density, and no fuzziness! It seems the G.C.I.T.A. must have gotten a sweet deal and saved a few pennies per can on the dismal Dunlops that they are forcing upon players.

Part 2. March 27, 2013. "The Agony and the Agony..." 
After taking a month off from Interclub singles play for my fatherly responsibilities, I returned to action on Saturday, March 16. Towards the end of the first set of play I could feel my arm breaking down. Perhaps my four week absence had caused me to lose all of the "Dunlop Immunity" I had built up. By the end of the match, I was serving at 50% speed. My forearm and elbow were on fire. This searing pain lasted for several days. I haven't played tennis (singles or doubles) since that match. It seems as though the prediction I made in October has come true!

"Besides negatively impacting play, I believe these balls can lead to injury for some types of players. The weight, density, and "fuzziness" are a recipe for shoulder, arm, and elbow pain."

I have decided that as long as Dunlop Grand Prix balls are The Official Ball of the G.C.I.T.A., I will no longer play Interclub singles. This also means I will be stepping down as Team Captain; a postion I have held for 13 years or so. I will try to play doubles next session. Since the serving rotation is one in  every four (instead of one in every two), my arm and shoulder might be able to withstand the Dunlop assault. I am thoroughly convinced that Dunlop Grand Prix balls lead to shoulder and arm injuries, especially for players who use stiff rackets and polyester strings like myself. Play with these balls at your own peril.

Part 3. July 1, 2013. "Dunlop Grand Prix, Lateral Epicondylitis, and Me" 
Dunlop-induced Lateral epicondylitis (aka "Tennis Elbow") has continued to keep me on the sidelines. I have been performing stretching and strengthening exercises on a daily basis. Despite time and rehab, I am still experiencing a fair amount of pain. I hit a few serves and hit against a backboard yesterday and as a result my arm feels slightly worse than usual. This is actually a good sign as I expected the pain to be much more severe. It's possible I could return to the court on 7/9 or 7/16. If my return is on 7/16 it will be a nice and tidy FOUR month absence thanks to Dunlop. The moral of my story? Simple. Avoid Dunlop Grand Prix!

Part 4. July 16, 2013. "Do You Believe in Miracles?" 
[Dirty Dozen Doubles, Harper's Point Outdoor Clay, 7pm, Temperature ~93 degrees, Heat Index ~100 degrees] After exactly FOUR months off the circuit I wasn't expecting much, nobody was… All I was realistically hoping for was to hold a couple serves and escape the evening without debilitating pain. I should have known better…

After two hours of sweltering conditions, I nearly swept all three sets (7-6, 6-4, 5-7) and put on a performance that can best be described as a Miracle. It's as if I had never stopped playing. And before some wise ass accuses me of competing against grade school children, I can assure you that the competition was stiff with a capital S. 

My court mates included co-worker Brian Telintelo, Judge Brad Greenberg, and some guy named Dave Maclean, not a bad player in the bunch. The first set was particularly satisfying and will forever be synaptically committed. The Judge and I found ourselves down most of the set to the hard-hitting youngster Telintelo and his partner Dave; 2-4 and 3-5 in the set, and 0-3 in the tie-breaker. However, we somehow found a way to win and pulled off a 7-6 (7-5) victory that was instantly recognized as a Dirty Dozen Classic ("DDC").

After more than two hours on court, I can confidently say that my arm feels no worse than before. Thousands of reps with various grip strengthening devices over the past four months have apparently paid off. 

Is this over? Not by a long shot. I will not rest until the Dunlop Grand Prix is excised from the G.C.I.T.A. equipment list. Stay tuned...

Part 5.  August 23, 2013. "The 59 gram Scourge" 
Since my triumphant return on July 16, 2013, I have played doubles four more times and have performed well. There is still some lingering pain, but all appears to be well. G.C.I.T.A. Interclub starts on Sept 7 and I will once again have to deal with the 59 gram rock-hard scourge known as the Dunlop Grand Prix. Will my arm and shoulder survive? Only the tennis gods know for certain. Be sure to check back for more updates.

Part 6. August 20, 2014. "Redemption" or "The Ball Remains The Same" 
Nearly a year after my last update, Dunlop remains but so do I. The past year has seen injury-free (and winning) sessions of both Interclub and Dirty Dozen. I have lowered the tension of my Babolat Pure Drive Plus' ALU Rough strings down to the mid 40's. This seems to have alleviated some of my issues. I will continue to lobby against the  Dunlop Grand Prix. Perhaps one day it will be nothing more than a bad memory, occasionally showing up as an old practice ball in a pro's shopping cart, its lettering barely visible.

Part 7. July 19, 2016. "What Doesn't Kill You..." 
It's been almost four years since my first post. The Dunlop Grand Prix is still a fixture within the GCITA and Harper's Point Racquet Club. I haven't returned to singles play but I have continued to play doubles and just came off a 16-1 season. For the time being my body has seemed to adapt to the Grand Prix. And although I'm sure I'd get a lot more free points on my serve with Penn or Wilson, I believe the Dunlop balls could be better for my groundstrokes as they are less prone to fly off due to their heavier weight. I've had minor shoulder pain this year but nothing that has prevented me from playing. For now, the Dunlop Grand Prix and I have reached a detente. Hopefully it lasts!

Part 8. July 20, 2017. "What Doesn't Kill You II" 
It's been one year since my last post and nearly five years since my first. I came off a very respectable winning Winter session in G.C.I.T.A. 4.5 Doubles. Dunlop is here. I am here. Not much has changed. However one tennis-related thing has changed, five years ago when the Dunlop Grand Prix invaded Harper's Point Racket Club, Roger Federer was not the best tennis player in the world. Right now, he is the best without question. I hope to see him at the Cincy Masters in August. Maybe I'll write an article about it. ;) 

Another South Park Classic / Whale Whores

I laughed so hard I nearly cried... Amazingly, after 13 seasons, Trey and Matt can still bring the funny. Last night's episode "Whale Whores" is another instant classic. This time South Park takes on an entire country! "Well Stan... the Japanese just don't really like Dolphins very much. Certainly not as much as us normal people do."

Here are two great clips... The uninitiated might think that South Park is promoting violence against animals but that's not the case. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have proven themselves to be very astute social, political, and religious commentators. After all, they have won both a Peabody and more importantly a Dolf Zone Excellence in Television award. You can watch the entire episode online at or catch it on Comedy Central this week. South Park airs on Wednesdays at 10:00pm.

theDOLFalbum

Another Classic South Park...

Be sure to check out the latest episode of South Park ("The China Probrem") as soon as possible. It made me laugh out loud multiple times... which as you all know is a very rare feat! ;)

Without giving too much away "Probrem" expertly intertwines a plot about U.S./Chinese relations with the desecration of the Indiana Jones legacy. Dare to take a guess at what George Lucas (pictured above) is doing?

My only question is who sues first? George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford, P.F. Changs or China????

South Park continues to push the boundaries of allowable content on basic cable. If a show makes you feel as if it could be yanked off the air at any second, it must be doing something right! I fully expected the president of Comedy Central to break in live during the episode and inform me that South Park has finally gone too far and will be canceled.

South Park airs on Wednesdays at 10:00pm on Comedy Central with several repeats throughout the week. You can also watch it online for free at http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/

Dolf Zone Pick / Nirvana Unplugged on DVD

One of the finest moments in the history of recorded music is finally making its way to DVD. Nirvana's "MTV Unplugged in New York" was my Beatles on Ed Sullivan when it aired fourteen years ago back in 1993.

I remember the anticipation while I was at work that day. I was far more useless and distracted than usual. I knew that Nirvana's "Unplugged" was going to be a phenomenal event. And I was right... I can still remember that evening very vividly - the oddball stage with (fake?) plants strategically placed about; Kurt's grandpa sweater; that new dude with the red, white, and blue guitar. But the most memorable thing of all were the unbelievable performances. I knew that I had just witnessed something historical. Something truly amazing...

Although I was not familiar with several of the songs, it really didn't matter. Each performance was immediately accessible and instantly classic. From the Vaselines' "Jesus Doesn't Want Me for a Sunbeam" to Bowie's "The Man Who Sold the World" to the Meat Puppets' "Lake of Fire", I was floored. By the time Cobain wailed that massive howl at the end of Lead Belly's "Where Did You Sleep Last Night", I was emotionally drained. In my opinion that night's performance cemented Nirvana's place in musical history and placed them well above their grunge counterparts. Nirvana's "MTV Unplugged in New York" has been in constant Dolf rotation for the past thirteen years and will stay in that rotation until I cease to be.

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Nirvana's 1993, "MTV Unplugged" taping will make its DVD debut November 20.

"MTV Unplugged in New York" was released November 1, 1994, on CD, the first Nirvana product to appear following Kurt Cobain's suicide that April.

Like the CD, the Universal Music DVD will include the songs "Something in the Way" and "Oh Me," which did not appear on the original MTV broadcast. The DVD also sports four tracks from the band's soundcheck and previously unreleased behind-the-scenes footage. More...